As I am beginning to end this part of my life and start to reflect on what's happened, I thought this would be a good way to bring the blog back.
First and foremost, I want to say how grateful I am for the past four years. These have been the best of my life thus far and I have met the most amazing people and grew tremendously. For this I thank everyone who has played a role in this. My family has been my biggest supporter and for them I am also truly grateful.
Around 2 weeks ago while I was driving, I felt the urge to stop at Casino Road where I grew up and struggled. I parked my car and walked and I felt a wave of emotion. I was so blessed to have this privilege to be around the most amazing group of people these 4 years. That emotion of gratitude immediately shifted to a emotion of guilt, wondering if, with where I had come from, I had done my best to use my opportunity to impact others. The question I asked myself: Had I fulfilled my potential?
Obviously, this year was rough, a lot of things have happened since the last blog. I lost good friends, made better ones, learned a lot about people, life, and solidified my next four years athletically and academically. So many dark times, therapy sessions, and now I am at a very happy place, which has made me re-think some things about this year.
I don't want to be specific, but I never want to offend anyone in life, and I have met some people who I truly cared about and who had helped me through dark times felt betrayed. I have caused a lot of pain and drama and to this day I still feel truly guilty. These people mean the world to me still, and I would like to publicly apologize to them. Through many platforms, I had often dramatized my opinions and blown up and said things that often I didn't believe, all in attempt to cry for help. This had led to many assumptions and false narratives which had cause me to lose valuable relationships with people who were valuable to me. I looked at it at first blaming others, and it took intensive therapy to figure out what I did to cause this. I hope that, in the near or far future, the doors to those conversations with these peoples can be opened and we can close this chapter on a good note. I could go on, but I will leave it at that on this public platform.
Football wise I have failed my football team. I won't go into depth, but I have not been my best leader due to my own selfishness and circumstances outside of my control. I apologize to my brothers for not being there the best I could, but I have faith they will breed success in the future. This chapter is closed, and I can't wait to ball out with my dawgs in Montana.
I felt this was necessary and felt that there was a lesson in this. I think the big lesson I learned is this; highs and lows come in life, its inevitable when you are on a mission to success. However, it's important to never stop being your best self, and I let some stuff get to me this year. Also, in life, ALL relationships are valuable and should be treated as such. In the future, I will remember the relationships I built, the ones I lost and what I've learned from them, and how much Cascade has meant to me. To my classmates, teachers, and coaches at Cascade, I wish them all the best and know for a fact they will fufil their potential and do amazing things for themselves, the community, and the world.
It's been real.
Greater things have yet to come.
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